Sunday, March 30, 2008

coffee-less coffee

When my brother was about five years old, he learnt to make coffee. He was extremely proud of this newly acquired skill (as coffee has always played a major role in our household) and decided to take our parents some coffee in bed. Now my mom used to have these big, dark brown mugs which made it very difficult to judge its contents early in the morning. Anyway, Dad takes his coffee with milk and sugar and took the first sip. He frowned a little but said thank you. Mom takes here coffee without milk and with no sugar and when she took the first sip asked in horror: "how much coffee did you put in" to which my brother sheepishly replied: "oeps, i forgot to put coffee in"

so why this story?

a friend of mine recently asked me what my greatest fear is, and while i have many fears i had to confess that ultimately my greatest fear is that i would only exist and never really live. Coffee without coffee is not coffee at all and i guess that life without the right ingredients is not life either. Milk and sugar are optional extras but you cannot have coffee without the water and the coffee itself. i am on a journey towards discovering which parts of my life are the optional extras and which are the essentials.

I know that Jesus is essential in my life if i want to have live (John 10:10) and that in abundance, and i believe that there are other things that are essential as well, like: being who i was created to be, living according to God's purpose for me and so on. The challenge however is to become me, stripped of all the masks and little lies that, over the years, i have told myself and others about who i am.

I have decided to allow God to take me through a process of pruning, becoming recklessly honest with myself, my God and others.

If becoming who i am drives people away, then maybe my interactions with those have been meaningless anyway. Becoming who i am means becoming who i was created to be and this includes some growing, some pruning, some molding and shaping. It does not give me an excuse to be hurtful or insensitive.

So pray for me as i continue on this journey.

metamorphosis bugs

4 comments:

DoringRosie said...

No words can describe how proud I am to have read this blog, I find it so overwhelming and courages that God has shown you this incredible gift you have. A gift, because by being you your real friends will start to show and those who wear masks and don't like you for who you are will die away and dissapear, sad but true. Will this be a lost? I don't believe so...

But I'm a brutal flower with thick thorns and I like to be like I am and therefore like everyone around me to be who they are supose to be. That's why I will encourage you my friend to be who you are, people will draw closer and not run away!

Real things have more value then those which are fake, fake things are easier to replace then real things.

All my love miena

Eliza D Hunter said...

Hey Bugs,

I am like Mien said VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!

Yes the road is always tough when we not that sure on how the road actually looks, but God is our navigator he will always be by your side, and guide you to where HE wants you to be.

Will always be praying for you,
God bless,

Love always,

C

Sunflower said...

nice one vriendin! Baie mooi gestel en jou prat was gud Sondag aand. Gee my en ek seker ander mense baie om oor te dink. Voorspoed! Dink an jo

Rock in the Grass (Pete Grassow) said...

Hang in my friend. Jy is deur hie Here geskape as 'n unieke mens wat jou eie bydrae in die lewe oplewe. Moenie kak vat nie.
Pete