Tuesday, April 29, 2008


a friend of mine http://sunflowerunderhisrays.blogspot.com/ writes about the urge to run, an urge that i have felt so many times before. While reading her blog it struck me that i have been asking the wrong question all along. the question is not what/where i am running from but rather what/where i am running to.

hmm, i will have to give this some more thought

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Today is one of those restless, windy days in Utenhage and my office ander the trees that is on other days a haven of tranquility is turned into a dusttrap. The sky is a brilliant blue and the sun is shining the trees and grass the grass are a radient green after the recent rains and still, this day is restless, this day is cold.

It causes my mind to wander...
How easily we can judge anothers life to say that they have it easy! like the weather here, looks can be so deciving...

in my previous blog i gave reflected on children who need and do not need and those who need most who am i to judge who need most? needs may differ, but needs are still needs. some of the most vibrant people i know are people with the deepest hurts. Experience have toaught me that it is often those who apear to be in the sun who have a great need for the Son.

i dream of a Christian society who will choose to look past appearances and who will love undonditionally. I dream of a church where all of my friends with all their peculiarities will be welcome and cared for - no matter which way the wind blows. I long for a a true jubilee when all will be set free: free from labels, free from pain, free from prejudice, free from the past, free from the judgmental looks and comments from other Christians, free to be who God created them to be, free...

The wind is still blowing en my next appointment is on the way so i guess i should sweep and dust my office one more time. Now if only i could sweep and dust my heart as easily...


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

"those who need you most"

last week i spend my mornings with a group of children from a currently disadvantaged background in a life skills holiday club. These children represent all races and gender and have seen it all and despite the pain, the neglect, the abuse and the violence that they have seen, felt and experienced - they are children with a great need for love, a great need for food, a great need for God and a great need to be needed. Worship with these kids was challenging and yet simple for they do not expect me to wow them with technology, impress them with skill or to be a step ahead of the latest trends. All they expected was for me to be present in the moment.

The group of leaders who worked will not be the first choice for any leadership team, they are not dynamic, not impressive, not even eloquent, but they are loving and caring and committed. They are perhaps closer to the team that God would have chosen...

This week, i am overseeing the preparations for another holiday club, this time for a very different group of kids with different needs and i find myself irritated with the superficial nature of our concerns, will be be able to out-do our previous holiday clubs, will the decor be professional enough? The team of leaders that will be chosen will be very different, only the best of those who applied will be selected and i cant help but hear Jesus saying "whitewashed tombs".

Despite my current crisis in calling i do know two things for certain:
* I still am called to have a preferential option for the poor, and
* I am still called to "do not go to those who need you, but to those who need you most"

i guess God is not finished with me yet...