Saturday, August 18, 2007


one of the most difficult passages in Scripture for me to make sense of has always been that of Luke 12: 49-53. How i long for peace in the church (man peace in our leaders meeting would be great)! How i long for a day when there would not be this never-ending conflict amonst Christians themselves a day when "peace on earth" would be more than just a Christmas greeting! When i then read Jesus words in Luke 12:49-53 i cant help but sigh a deep sigh...

Yes i know that the peace that Jesus brings is not the peace that this world brings, i know that it is not the absence of conflict but rather a deep inner peace that is not dependent on external factors but rather on Jesus' sovereignty and saving grace - but still. The problem with peace in the church is perhaps not so much what Jesus was alluding to in Luke 12 but more John 15:18- 16:4 - We all tend to go off on our own crusades in which we fight "on God's behalf" against that which we have decided is an abomination to Him (as if God is not big enough to fight those battles for himself). We go about all self-righteous and judgmental honestly thinking that we are doing God a favor while tearing the body of Christ into peaces, crushing and obscuring the image of God in others. and we say - "it is for God".

The Message that Christ brings of unconditional love, forgiveness and justice all to often brings division rather than peace when our own ego's and insecurities gets in the way.

Again, the words "more of You and less of me" is my hearts desire. may i not ever seek to persecute those who think differently, worship differently and experience differently. May we seek to find the image of God in others and allow God to be God.

Friday, August 17, 2007


I have heard about it a lot, i have been warned against it by many, i have even come close to it at times - but never as close to it as the last month...

Yes i am talking about "burn-out". This year so far has been extremely taxing and i ended up exhausted, stressed, empty and bitter - even to the point of wanting to throw away the collar. Today, i can begin to see the light again.

So how did i de-bug and how am i going to stay de-bugged?

During the last couple of days all i could really concentrate on was prayer and fasting and in this time i spend hours in front of the piano, simply worshiping. During this time, i had wise friends who reminded me to focus of the good , the pure, the excellent, the praise-worthy (Phil 4:4-8). At first i was too tired, but while worshiping God, i found my mind wondering onto the many "good things" in my life and ministry: There is growth in a society that once was ready to die; there is unity in a congregation where there once was only division; this same tiny society has started to grow not only in numbers but in Spirit by reaching out to the community and those in need; there has been miracles in the lives of some young people and heaven rejoices over lost sheep returning home; the has been the miracle in the life of little Ethan-River a baby born with a huge cyst on his lung but when the time came for him to be operated on (one week after he was born) the cyst was nowhere to be found - the doctors are still wondering about that... and so i can go on and on.

How is it that i can focus so easily on that which goes wrong and forget about that which goes right? Why do we always tend to see those who are unhappy and miss the happy ones?

If worship, prayer, fasting and fellowship is what has served as instruments in God's hands to de-bug this little bug, then that is what i need more of in my life. And so the quest to balance continues, but in a new way: more of Him and less of me = balance