"like children"

Oh how often I have read the words of Jesus "unless you become like children" and yet, i still have not discovered the full richness of these words. It is now, watching my own child sleeping so peacefully that i discovered yet another little peace of this amazing truth:

As a family, we have been through an extremely turbulent times with lots of insecurities, hurts and frustrations. Till recently i have always boasted of my ability to fall asleep whenever my head touches the pillow, but in the last three weeks i have had many a sleepless night - stressing and worrying about things beyond my control.

Getting back to my sleeping child...

Even though he is aware of most of the worries and difficulties that faces us right now, my son has as attitude of: 'Well, i have prayed about this' and 'i trust mom & dad' and so he has been laughing, playing and sleeping - enjoying the adventure. Yes he has been frustrated at times, and yes he is missing the familiar sights and faces of those we love but he trusts unwaveringly that all will be okay.

I need to learn to trust more like him, to say: 'Well i have prayed about that and i know that my heavenly Dad will take care of me and so i can laugh, play and sleep and see this as a great adventure' ... if only i can become like a child again!

When is it that we loose our trust and faith, when is it that we become too cautious to become excited about that which we know our Heavenly Father can do, about His love and care for us?

Having spent the last to hours frantically trying to find my own solutions i hear God saying: Martha, Martha, you tail and trouble so, but only one thing is needed...

So this is me saying goodnight to go and practice becoming like a child again...
peace

peace?

one of the most difficult passages in Scripture for me to make sense of has always been that of Luke 12: 49-53. How i long for peace in the church (man peace in our leaders meeting would be great)! How i long for a day when there would not be this never-ending conflict amonst Christians themselves a day when "peace on earth" would be more than just a Christmas greeting! When i then read Jesus words in Luke 12:49-53 i cant help but sigh a deep sigh...

Yes i know that the peace that Jesus brings is not the peace that this world brings, i know that it is not the absence of conflict but rather a deep inner peace that is not dependent on external factors but rather on Jesus' sovereignty and saving grace - but still. The problem with peace in the church is perhaps not so much what Jesus was alluding to in Luke 12 but more John 15:18- 16:4 - We all tend to go off on our own crusades in which we fight "on God's behalf" against that which we have decided is an abomination to Him (as if God is not big enough to fight those battles for himself). We go about all self-righteous and judgmental honestly thinking that we are doing God a favor while tearing the body of Christ into peaces, crushing and obscuring the image of God in others. and we say - "it is for God".

The Message that Christ brings of unconditional love, forgiveness and justice all to often brings division rather than peace when our own ego's and insecurities gets in the way.

Again, the words "more of You and less of me" is my hearts desire. may i not ever seek to persecute those who think differently, worship differently and experience differently. May we seek to find the image of God in others and allow God to be God.

peace or pieces

“ the calm of mind which is not ruffled by adversity, overclouded by sin or a remorseful conscience, or disturbed by the fear and approach of death”. - Eadie

Wow, how i need to have this peace, the peace of God that surpasses all understanding!

During the past week, i have been privileged to sit at the feet of a true teacher and am left with so many things to chew over. I have been challenged in so many ways and inspired to become more focused, becoming more of what i was created to be and allowing for His Spirit to direct my life.

Also, this past weekend, i have been shocked at the direction in which this organization that i work for and love so much is going. And now it is Monday morning, i am left with the spiritual slump of a post-mountaintop experience (that lasted a whole week); with loads of work on a "building and restoration" level and; with the longing for this peace of Christ (which Eadie describes as a "calm of the mind").

Now i used to think that the way to get this "peace" was to create balance in my life, balance that i simply cant seem to find. However, i do believe that the real problem was/is not balance, but rather focus & obedience. i have been running around focusing on the problems i am faced with and not on the much bigger God i am with. I have been looking for signs of trouble instead of looking for signs of God's power and grace. I have been trying to please the people i serve instead of finding joy in the God under who's supervision i stand. I have been seeking approval and validation from people instead of ministering in His authority.

Most importantly, i have been trying so hard to do everything that i think people expect me to do and have forgotten and neglected that to which God has called me in the first place - resulting in me spending 80% of my time in doing that which God has called someone else to do and only 20% of my time on that which God has created, called and equipped me for. Then i wonder why i am lacking the peace of God...

It is time for me to start moving more towards that which i was created, called and equipped to and thus becoming obedient to God's call and will in my life.

It seems i have a choice: either i can obey and be at peace or betray and keep on trying to balance the pieces.