A story is being told of two caterpillars who were strolling around in the garden one morning. The two friends spotted a butterfly in flight when one remarked: ' you will never catch me in one of those, not even if you paid me'
It has been about a month since my last post and in that month so much have changed. the life cycle of a bug has taken place once again - the chrysalis process of seaming death and rebirth; of transformation; of pain-and-hope; and ultimately of new beginnings! There has been the odd occasion where i heard myself say: 'you will not catch me in youth ministry, not again' . I have mentioned in one of my previous posts that i firmly believe God has a sense of humor and so guess what i am doing ... Yip, i am back in youth ministry (well, mainly youth ministry) and the scariest part is that i am actually enjoying it.
So here i am, the same bug with different (perhaps more funky) spots. i am certain that this is where i have to be for now, and tho the process was painful, the growth that lies in this process has been significant. i am curious to see what the ultimate plan and destination is, but for now - i am enjoying the journey.
traveling mercies friends
bugs
(being under Gods supervision)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
"like children"
Oh how often I have read the words of Jesus "unless you become like children" and yet, i still have not discovered the full richness of these words. It is now, watching my own child sleeping so peacefully that i discovered yet another little peace of this amazing truth:
As a family, we have been through an extremely turbulent times with lots of insecurities, hurts and frustrations. Till recently i have always boasted of my ability to fall asleep whenever my head touches the pillow, but in the last three weeks i have had many a sleepless night - stressing and worrying about things beyond my control.
Getting back to my sleeping child...
Even though he is aware of most of the worries and difficulties that faces us right now, my son has as attitude of: 'Well, i have prayed about this' and 'i trust mom & dad' and so he has been laughing, playing and sleeping - enjoying the adventure. Yes he has been frustrated at times, and yes he is missing the familiar sights and faces of those we love but he trusts unwaveringly that all will be okay.
I need to learn to trust more like him, to say: 'Well i have prayed about that and i know that my heavenly Dad will take care of me and so i can laugh, play and sleep and see this as a great adventure' ... if only i can become like a child again!
When is it that we loose our trust and faith, when is it that we become too cautious to become excited about that which we know our Heavenly Father can do, about His love and care for us?
Having spent the last to hours frantically trying to find my own solutions i hear God saying: Martha, Martha, you tail and trouble so, but only one thing is needed...
So this is me saying goodnight to go and practice becoming like a child again...
peace
As a family, we have been through an extremely turbulent times with lots of insecurities, hurts and frustrations. Till recently i have always boasted of my ability to fall asleep whenever my head touches the pillow, but in the last three weeks i have had many a sleepless night - stressing and worrying about things beyond my control.
Getting back to my sleeping child...
Even though he is aware of most of the worries and difficulties that faces us right now, my son has as attitude of: 'Well, i have prayed about this' and 'i trust mom & dad' and so he has been laughing, playing and sleeping - enjoying the adventure. Yes he has been frustrated at times, and yes he is missing the familiar sights and faces of those we love but he trusts unwaveringly that all will be okay.
I need to learn to trust more like him, to say: 'Well i have prayed about that and i know that my heavenly Dad will take care of me and so i can laugh, play and sleep and see this as a great adventure' ... if only i can become like a child again!
When is it that we loose our trust and faith, when is it that we become too cautious to become excited about that which we know our Heavenly Father can do, about His love and care for us?
Having spent the last to hours frantically trying to find my own solutions i hear God saying: Martha, Martha, you tail and trouble so, but only one thing is needed...
So this is me saying goodnight to go and practice becoming like a child again...
peace
Saturday, January 5, 2008
the parrable of the fallen pencil
A friend of mine tagged me to write the parable of the fallen pencil and I in turn would love to see what rock, gus, barry and the guys will do with it.
Here goes mine:
there once were two pencils: a beautiful upright conventional pencil and a rubbery pencil that seemed to lack backbone. Nothing about this pencil was conventional and it would certainly not be allowed in the grade 1 class where everything has to be proper and up to standard. The conventional pencil always looked down on the rubbery pencil and despised him for being different. Much to the dismay of both these pencils, they ended up together in a little boy's pencil bag.
One day, the little boy, in the carelessness of youth, dropped the pencil bag and both pencils fell painfully to the ground. When eventually they were picked up again, the little boy saw that the beautiful upright pencil's point was broken, so he started sharpening it, but no matter how much he sharpened the pencil, it's point kept falling out. The pencil's lead was broken inside and it has lost its usefulness.
In life we are often much like these pencils, some of us are beautiful, upright, conventional people who expect everyone else to fit into our 'conventional' way of thinking and doing things. Some of us never quite fit into the 'conventional' category and my feel unworthy at times. However to survive life's up's and down's - to survive life's falls we need to be a little more flexible, more open to change. It is often our uniqueness that makes us useful in God's hand.
Here goes mine:
there once were two pencils: a beautiful upright conventional pencil and a rubbery pencil that seemed to lack backbone. Nothing about this pencil was conventional and it would certainly not be allowed in the grade 1 class where everything has to be proper and up to standard. The conventional pencil always looked down on the rubbery pencil and despised him for being different. Much to the dismay of both these pencils, they ended up together in a little boy's pencil bag.
One day, the little boy, in the carelessness of youth, dropped the pencil bag and both pencils fell painfully to the ground. When eventually they were picked up again, the little boy saw that the beautiful upright pencil's point was broken, so he started sharpening it, but no matter how much he sharpened the pencil, it's point kept falling out. The pencil's lead was broken inside and it has lost its usefulness.
In life we are often much like these pencils, some of us are beautiful, upright, conventional people who expect everyone else to fit into our 'conventional' way of thinking and doing things. Some of us never quite fit into the 'conventional' category and my feel unworthy at times. However to survive life's up's and down's - to survive life's falls we need to be a little more flexible, more open to change. It is often our uniqueness that makes us useful in God's hand.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
a tree cut off; a tree alive
in our back garden stands a great big old tree stump that tells the sad story of not being wanted anymore where it was planted - not by its own will, but my the one who planted it. For at least six months this tree stump stood there, a sad testimony of the whimsical nature of humanity. Now however, this stump is sprouting new leaves and branches, testifying to a power far greater than that of mankind the power of hope in hopelessness. The power of the true light that shines in the darkness: the power of Christ.
Today the "tree of my ministry" is being cut of as the powers that be announced to the congregations that I have served for the last two years that i will be discontinued as a minister in this church. Like the stump in our back garden, it is a sad testimony of the nature of humanity, speaking of hopelessness and pain, of not being wanted anymore where i was planted (not by my own will but by the hand of Him who planted me) - disregarding years of faithful service and growth. However, this 'stump of my ministry' that remains is a testimony to much more. It is a testimony of hope in hopelessness, a testimony to the light of Christ that changes and saves - regardless of pain, darkness and fear.
Today, i stand not because i am proud, but because i know that i serve a God of new beginnings, a God of love and hope . A God who is there in our times of darkness. Today i proclaim boldly:
God is life!
Today the "tree of my ministry" is being cut of as the powers that be announced to the congregations that I have served for the last two years that i will be discontinued as a minister in this church. Like the stump in our back garden, it is a sad testimony of the nature of humanity, speaking of hopelessness and pain, of not being wanted anymore where i was planted (not by my own will but by the hand of Him who planted me) - disregarding years of faithful service and growth. However, this 'stump of my ministry' that remains is a testimony to much more. It is a testimony of hope in hopelessness, a testimony to the light of Christ that changes and saves - regardless of pain, darkness and fear.
Today, i stand not because i am proud, but because i know that i serve a God of new beginnings, a God of love and hope . A God who is there in our times of darkness. Today i proclaim boldly:
God is life!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
politics
In the light of recent developments in politics in our country, it is easy to loose hope, to become despondent and to allow for darkness to rule our hearts and minds and then there are moments that gives hope, moments like this one:
As i am sitting here, i can hear the laughter and giggles outside of two six-year olds: one is my own little boy, the other - the son of a friend from a different cultural background. Both are fluent in at least two languages and knows a couple of words in a third. My son can speak English, Afrikaans and a bit of SeSotho, his friend can speak SeSotho, SeTwana and a bit of English. They do not fully understand each other, but have been playing the morning away. They laugh, they help, they play and have developed their own way of communication. Perhaps this is why God said that we need to become children again: Instead of focusing on problems, differences or that which divides us, they focus of similarities finding solutions and each other.
Perhaps my next vote should be going to a child ...
As i am sitting here, i can hear the laughter and giggles outside of two six-year olds: one is my own little boy, the other - the son of a friend from a different cultural background. Both are fluent in at least two languages and knows a couple of words in a third. My son can speak English, Afrikaans and a bit of SeSotho, his friend can speak SeSotho, SeTwana and a bit of English. They do not fully understand each other, but have been playing the morning away. They laugh, they help, they play and have developed their own way of communication. Perhaps this is why God said that we need to become children again: Instead of focusing on problems, differences or that which divides us, they focus of similarities finding solutions and each other.
Perhaps my next vote should be going to a child ...
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
in short
what a year! so many good things that happened , so many painful things, so many questions, so little answers... A roller-coaster ride of hope and despair!
Today i think back on one of the most difficult years of my life and somehow, i am without words to describe this year other than to say in the words of Charles Spurgeon: "I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need"
My calling has been tested again and again on every level and all tho others might doubt my call, i am more sure than ever of my calling. I don't know where 2008 will lead me, but this i know:
"His grace is sufficient for me"
Today i think back on one of the most difficult years of my life and somehow, i am without words to describe this year other than to say in the words of Charles Spurgeon: "I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need"
My calling has been tested again and again on every level and all tho others might doubt my call, i am more sure than ever of my calling. I don't know where 2008 will lead me, but this i know:
"His grace is sufficient for me"
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
uncharted territory
How often do we use the words 'trust' and 'faith', and how often do we really understand what we are saying?
In the last while (and especially this week) i have been gaining a fresh understanding of what it really means to say that i trust God or that i have faith in Him. In the past it has been easy for me to say these things as i have felt that i am in control of my life and ministry. I have been like a good layer who only asks the questions that s/he already knows the answers to. I have been trusting God in that which is certain - eternal life. For everything else, i could make a plan.
Recently however, i have had to learn to trust God when nothing is certain. I am learning that the greatest for of trust is when i can see no way out. i am like Gideon, being asked to trust God when humanly the situation seems impossible. i am being asked to trust God with my life now and not only one day when i die and do not have any control anyway. This kind of trust is a trust that i am following his lead when i cannot see the outcome yet, it is asking the questions that i don't know the answers to. I t is walking in uncharted territory with dangers all around me. I can no longer depend on my own insights, experience or understanding. I cannot depend on friends or family.
All of this is terrifying ... and yet it is strangely liberating!
Today i declare (with an unsteady voice) "Christ enough for one - for all!"
In the last while (and especially this week) i have been gaining a fresh understanding of what it really means to say that i trust God or that i have faith in Him. In the past it has been easy for me to say these things as i have felt that i am in control of my life and ministry. I have been like a good layer who only asks the questions that s/he already knows the answers to. I have been trusting God in that which is certain - eternal life. For everything else, i could make a plan.
Recently however, i have had to learn to trust God when nothing is certain. I am learning that the greatest for of trust is when i can see no way out. i am like Gideon, being asked to trust God when humanly the situation seems impossible. i am being asked to trust God with my life now and not only one day when i die and do not have any control anyway. This kind of trust is a trust that i am following his lead when i cannot see the outcome yet, it is asking the questions that i don't know the answers to. I t is walking in uncharted territory with dangers all around me. I can no longer depend on my own insights, experience or understanding. I cannot depend on friends or family.
All of this is terrifying ... and yet it is strangely liberating!
Today i declare (with an unsteady voice) "Christ enough for one - for all!"
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