"I will still be joyfull"

"Even though the fig-trees have no fruit and no grapes grow on the vines, even though the olive-crop fails and the fields produce no corn, even though the sheep all die and the cattle-stalls are empty, I will still be joyful and glad, because the Lord God is my saviour.
The Sovereign Lord gives me strength. He makes me sure-footed as a deer, and keeps me safe of the mountains." Habakkuk 3:17-19

I have no idea when to start, perhaps I need to start with me going back to youth ministry, not by choice but out of a painful experience that brought me here:
i never thought, not in my wildest dreams that i would go back to youth ministry, but i have found this last month as a youth pastor to be a healing and stretching experience. i have had to learnt to say "i will still be joyful". In the last three months i have probably grown more than in any other time in my life and though the experience was painful, the Sovereign Lord has kept me sure-footed on this rugged mountain.

Last week, my best friend were told that the company she works for can no longer afford to employ her - i am amazed at her strength which i am sure is God's strength in her - 'still i will be glad'

This weekend a friend have lost all security and been through an incredibly difficult time, but it has been amazing to see christian love in action as her friends rallied around to help - 'still i will be glad'

On Friday, after having walked about in pain for more than a week, i went to the doctor. It turns out that, not having rested well after a recent opp, there is some internal bleeding and a resulting abscess. God supplied me with a doctor who decided to treat me with no cost as my new medical aid only kicks in from April - 'still i will be glad'

On Saturday my sister went for a run in Cape Town and was attacked with a large rock. This happened at a place where there was nobody to help her, but the Sovereign Lord gave her strength so that she would not fall and suffer a worse fate and sure-footed so that she managed to run to help. he supplied the help in the form of a group of cyclists who helped - "still i will be joyful and glad"

Today i learnt that a school friend, the only one i actually keep in touch with, will have to have his only kidney removed. He is in urgent need of a transplant - 'still i will be joyful and glad'


Yesterday i sat with a young girl who has been through much more in her short life than i have and her words to me was :"i don't always understand or even agree with what God does or allows, but He is God and I will always serve him, and him only".

a tree cut off; a tree alive

in our back garden stands a great big old tree stump that tells the sad story of not being wanted anymore where it was planted - not by its own will, but my the one who planted it. For at least six months this tree stump stood there, a sad testimony of the whimsical nature of humanity. Now however, this stump is sprouting new leaves and branches, testifying to a power far greater than that of mankind the power of hope in hopelessness. The power of the true light that shines in the darkness: the power of Christ.

Today the "tree of my ministry" is being cut of as the powers that be announced to the congregations that I have served for the last two years that i will be discontinued as a minister in this church. Like the stump in our back garden, it is a sad testimony of the nature of humanity, speaking of hopelessness and pain, of not being wanted anymore where i was planted (not by my own will but by the hand of Him who planted me) - disregarding years of faithful service and growth. However, this 'stump of my ministry' that remains is a testimony to much more. It is a testimony of hope in hopelessness, a testimony to the light of Christ that changes and saves - regardless of pain, darkness and fear.

Today, i stand not because i am proud, but because i know that i serve a God of new beginnings, a God of love and hope . A God who is there in our times of darkness. Today i proclaim boldly:
God is life!